what is left behind

1.
nails in stomach
drops of rust
slow at first
then torrent
curl into a ball
hide
maybe it
won't happen
pray
it's christmas
maybe we'll see
a miracle

2.
wash the clothes
put them in a box
push it way under
the bed
maybe next time
some little one
will wear them
but not for a while
think
maybe donate to
goodwill
but don't have
any left

3.
the idea of you
is too much to bare
consumed by memories
that never happened
yet imagined
way off in the distance
now fades
in the horizon
leaving cold nights
and empty arms

4.
there was a present
that went missing
from under the tree
i thought we could
open it together
i was wrong
santa doesn't always
bring exactly
what we want

5.
each day is one day
closer to better
on the road
towards fine
but not today
it is taking pity
finding solace
seeking refuge
watching the clock
at five in the morning
wishing the day
was done
by now

6.
what is left behind
is this
hope
faith
love
you
me
us